If you’re agonizing about where to hang your “Saturday is for the Boys” flag, this is for you.
Hello my Provo Bros, and welcome to our new Interior Design series, where we give you the most crucial tips and tricks for self-expression in your dorm. By the end of this article, you’ll know how to make your innate swagger and alpha energy known the second anyone walks through your front door.
I know you knew this one was coming, which is why it’s up first. Every Provo Bro knows that without a vision board, you’re directionless. This is where you can flaunt your lofty goals, like how many girls you wanna kiss before you get married, or just how much you plan on making during summer sales (it better be over $100k, though, you don’t wanna look like a beta). And Keighleigh from beauty school didn’t drop out early just for you to NOT have a six figure summer. “Every plan needs a vision and every vision needs a plan.” Get to work, king.
This is pretty self explanatory. But I mean, c’mon, this is what peak male performance looks like. Taking a first time Mutual date out to ice cream, and then straight to Squaw Peak. That’s the Provo Bro way. It’s like, a rite of passage at this point. So wear it with pride.
If everyone doesn’t know that you go to VASA, do you even go to VASA? Putting out your Body Fortress Chocolate Flavored Whey Protein™ on your nightstand (next to the Bang™, of course), is a tasteful, subtle, yet surefire way to draw attention to the fact that you do indeed lift, bro.
I mean, you love games, and playing with the boys is 100% certified good times. However, making sure the console is last gen proves that you’re a gamer, but without the capital G. Something like an Xbox One, a PS4, or even a Wii. But nothing too new, because nerds have those, and you’re most certainly NOT a nerd.
At the end of the day, it’s about showing, not telling. Which is why you SHOW your spirituality by having a General Authority up on the wall, right next to the bean bag where you make out. Bonus points if it’s in your mission language. That way, they know you served a mission, and are bilingual.
